I am a good mom.

I wish I could stop spending so much of my motherhood feeling inadequate.  Feeling like I failed for the day. 

 

Some of today's feelings of inadequacy:

• I didn't get to that summer solar system craft project yet again.

• We didn't do any fun activities today (we did decorate cupcakes but I didn't have them in aprons side by side with me in the kitchen whisking the batter and teaching them to crack eggs like the perfect vision in my head)  So even decorating cupcakes falls short in my mind.

• I didn't clean or organize the house enough (I know it doesn't matter to the kids at all if their closet is perfectly organized, so why does it matter to me)

• I didn't play with them enough

• I didn't get them each enough one on one attention

• Our schedule is too busy this week if I really do want to potty train Ellie

• Kenzie's birthday party this coming Friday is really lame compared to last years

• I am so behind on my blog and am not documenting enough memories (seriously, nearly every second of their life is documented up until recently...I think they'll survive adulthood with plenty of childhood to look back on)

• I am not eating healthy enough or drinking enough water this pregnancy.  I couldn't tell you if I eat 1500 calories a day or 4500. 

• I'm putting my kids in school next year, am I taking the easy way out?

• I yelled at the kids today.

• I am not in the Word enough.

• I spent too much money this week.

• I didn't do Kenzie's reading lesson with her even though she is begging to do them.  Why can't I take 10 minutes to sit down and do that.

 If I get to the end of the day and I've lost my cool with the kids, there are dishes in the sink, they kids fought often, and I was on the computer too much, I feel like a failure.   I don't know why.  In my mind a good mom is one who reads to her kids, tries to feed them healthy meals, listens to their concerns, lets them listen to their favorite cd in the car for the 1000th time, makes them feel extra special on their birthday, kisses them goodnight and tucks them in to bed, teaches them that God loves them and we need to love others, admits her mistakes and tried harder the next day.  Okay mission accomplish then.  So why then the nagging feeling of inadequacy?  Why can't I just admit that I am a good mom.  Why do I get to the end of the day and reflect on all that I did wrong instead of all that I did right? I might fail at keeping my cool or organizing my kids closet. But I am a good mom. I am not a perfect mom and that's okay. I am a good mom.